NoDivorces

For People Who Keep Wedding Vows!

Is Your Spouse the Right One?

Is Your Spouse the Right One?

In the book of Genesis, chapter 2 verse 18, we find the first thing that God said was not good. What was it?

It is not good that man should be alone. So God made him a helper comparable to him.

Here are some questions for you:

  • Did God give you the best partner or an inferior one?
  • Did God give your spouse an inferior partner in you, or the best?
  • If either of you give up, will you find someone better than what God gave you?

Sometimes people leave marriages because they think they can find someone better. Do you think that works? They expect to get away from problems. But they never learn to solve them. They never grow up.

Later, when the excitement of their affair or new relationship wears off, they run into the same problems and plan their escape once again.

Practice skills, not escapes!

Do you believe God makes mistakes? Do you think He gave you the wrong spouse? Do you think God gave your spouse the wrong partner?

Maybe you both already have the best. Maybe God was not so dumb after all. Maybe what you need is commitment, courage, wisdom, prayer, drive, skill, perseverance.

How many times have you heard someone complain, “I have been patient for years”?

How can a truly patient person ever say such a thing? Did you ever wonder? If a person is really patient, they won’t count the days or months or years or the number of offenses they have put up with. If the problem lasts forever and is never solved, they are prepared to stay in the marriage regardless simply because that is what they promised to do. And they don’t make wedding vows insincerely.

How about you? Are you committed? Are you worried whether your spouse is committed? Are you afraid your spouse might leave you first? Or are you determined that if there is any separation, you will never in a thousand years be the one to cause it?

About Your Children

  • Did God give you the right children?
  • Did God give your children the right parents?

What can you do that would be best for your children and your family?

  • Do you feel you have a right to take away half of your children’s parents?
  • Would that really make them happier?
  • Would that empower them with good relationship skills?

Getting Help

Could you do better with proper relationship skills?

There are excellent books and training videos available to help plan a path to healing a marriage. Some may work better than others. I want to think it doesn’t matter which books or videos you get as long as you get started quickly and then start putting them into practice ASAP.

And to some degree that may be true. Yet the downside is that none may help and you may still end up in a very painful divorce depending on what condition your marriage is in now. I wish that were not true, but I know what it is like to go through a divorce, and it was not nice.

But, even if the worst happens, the skills you would learn from studying and putting these things into practice will likely help you in your future relationships, with friends, with people at work, and with your children.

I lost my first marriage, but I never regretted studying how to have a good marriage. And I have now been in my second marriage for over 16 years.

Some recommended materials:

Note: I receive a commission from any sales made from these two links on this page. However, I have viewed several of Bruce’s videos and feel good about recommending them, even though they are secular and not Christian or religious in nature.

Just as I would recommend secular math or engineering courses that I felt were well written, the relationship skills taught in a very practical way I believe are helpful in saving marriages. And I want to see marriages and families thrive!

So, God bless you and best wishes for your family as you pursue ways to help make your family healthier and happier!

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