Why Let My Spouse Win?
If I get in a fight with my wife, should I just lie and say, “You’re right” when I don’t believe she is?
No. That is not what I am encouraging people to do. That is not what I mean by letting your spouse win.
What I mean is if your husband or wife is committed to honoring the wedding vows faithfully, then be fair. Let your spouse succeed. Help your spouse succeed.
Maybe you feel you have so much to complain about and so many reasons to give up on your marriage. Maybe you feel your spouse is not attentive enough, not romantic enough, not clean or responsible enough, and that your spouse keeps trying to come up to your standards but fails every time.
Perhaps you are interfering with your spouse’s success. And maybe you are not so perfect yourself. Perhaps the problem is hypocrisy, irritability, entitlement, a rotten attitude, and an unwillingness to honor the wedding promises that came out of your mouth even for the love of your own children.
Renew your vows. Say them like you intend to keep them. Understand that marriage is not a promise to feel good or feel happy or to be lucky or to enjoy everything going your way. It is a promise to remain committed. It is not a promise to feel love, but to deliver love.
Who has a right to make wedding promises and violate those promises? And who has a right to violate those promises and demand that the faithful spouse give up the kids, the house, the property and pay money simply because it’s called “child support”? And who has a right to say they love their children while refusing to honor their promise to love and cherish their other parent until death do us part?
Marriage is a commitment. Love is a promise to be kept. It is not a hope for good luck and success. It is a promise to drive success from your side faithfully.
If your spouse is trying to keep the marriage together, allow it. Support it. Encourage it. And try to outdo your spouse with patience, love, hope, faith, and sincerity. Be the best spouse and parent you can be. Not the worst.