How would you like to detect and stop a divorce by looking at someone’s face?
- The picture above is my maternal grandparents when they were young.
- Here, you see love in their eyes.
- Their marriage was strong and lifelong
Divorce, Contempt, Facial Expressions, and Discernment
Vanessa Van Edwards studied body language, speech, hand movements, and facial expressions to see how they affect relationships in the family, work, and business.
Perhaps the most ominous harbinger of divorce was one of the 7 universal facial expressions.
- The one most difficult to spot.
- The look of contempt.
I believe marriages could be saved if we could learn to spot the look of contempt and address it.
- Not defensively.
- Not with retaliation or punishment or criticism
- or begging, pleading,
- or taking desperate actions.
- With love.
- With patience.
- With humility.
No patient person ever declares his or her patience.
Have you ever heard a person say, “I’ve been patient for so long”?
They may be convinced, but I doubt anybody else is.
Address contempt with an open mind and curiosity and prayer for wisdom.
Your enemy is the contempt–not your spouse. See if you can heal the damage in the relationship. How to restore each of the following?
How to restore them in such a deeply painful and apparently hopeless situation?
Vanessa Van Edwards' Videos on Relationships
Having seen this video by Vanessa and some others, I would like to take a little time to study her videos on YouTube and consider buying her book.
In this video, she pointed out that about 93% of the time, the strongest indicator of whether a marriage will succeed or end in divorce is a particular facial expression that most people find difficult to discern. It is the asymmetric raised lip indicating contempt.
While contempt does not change or get better on its own, it can signal an opportunity to ask questions to help understand what is bothering the other person and help bring healing even if it is just by helping the person feel understood better.
NoDivorces does not get any financial benefit from you visiting Vanessa’s site or youtube channel. I feel that contempt is such a danger to marriage, and I don’t want your family or anybody else’s to die in pain for lack of help. That breaks my heart, which is why I created this website.
What can be better than living with love and happiness and mutual support and respect?
I think we all need that. Deeply.
The benefits are great. So many suicides, so much drug abuse, so much hopelessness, and acts of desperation by our children and adults could be prevented if the loving atmosphere of the family can be protected, preserved, and built up.