Suicidal? Give Tomorrow and Loved Ones a Chance
People who consider suicide don't want to die. They want pain to end.
Sadly divorce often leads to hopelessness and suicide. The shame, the loss, the betrayal and loss of trust in God and in the government and in everything good in life leads a person to see nothing but prospects for a horrible future, and sometimes it appears that suicide is an easy way out.
But it isn't. Sometimes rejected spouses commit suicide. Sometimes children do so. And sometimes one suicide leads to the suicide of another. This is different from a situation where a person has a painful and terminal illness and feels their best prospect for the best quality of life is to end it before the illness degenerates too far. Whatever a person may feel about this kind of suicide, the terminally ill person may feel they are sparing their families a burden and heavy medical expenses while sparing themselves a stretch of time in life that is painful and not worth retaining.
That is not so with the person going through a divorce who commits suicide. The death is senseless and somewhat cowardly. It reflects a person's desire to run away from problems rather than facing them, growing, and overcoming them. It also reflects a willingness to allow family and friends to suffer deep agony and heartbreak in exchange for avoiding those problems.
Those who promise themselves and God never to take their lives and remain committed to working and praying through the issues find that life gets better and they get stronger and happier over time. Furthermore, they teach others how to deal with problems in healthy ways rather than teaching them to seek the easy way out.
So, call a suicide hotline. Get help. Spend time with people who encourage you. Go out and have fun. Pray. Pray for what you want to have happen, and look for signs that things will get better. If you cannot control your feelings, and most people cannot, then take control of your thoughts and think about good things. Read Philipeans 4:6 to the end of the chapter. Make a list of what the Bible says to think about.
Controlling your feelings and thoughts
Notice that the Bible does not tell us what NOT to think about. That doesn't work. Imagine trying not to think of a pink elephant with purple polka dots. Now what is on your mind? Of course. A pink elephant with purple polka dots. Try to stop thinking of a pink elephant with purple polka dots. Did it work? If so, how did you do it?
Most likely you did not decide to stop thinking of something, but instead you replaced your thoughts with something else. Perhaps you thought of a zebra walking on the ceiling. Now that is on your mind and you forgot about the elephant.
The same goes for happy and sad, hopeless thoughts.
If all you can think about is
- children hurting,
- being alone,
or if your mind is full of negative lies such as
- it's all your fault
- you're ugly and old and stupid
- never have any hope of meeting someone better
- or of saving your marriage,
then there are effective and ineffective ways to deal with those thoughts.
Try allowing yourself to think on those things for a few seconds and then yell STOP!. After a little practice, you may find you can stop those thoughts. After awhile you may see they are unreasonable and untrue thoughts.
Another way to stop those thoughts and thoughts of suicide is to choose to think of the most enjoyable times of your life. If some of those thoughts remind you of what you don't have now and you begin to feel sad again, pick another time in your life, and keep thinking on those things.
Think about times with your family--parents, siblings, children, cousins, friends, going to the zoo or the park, camping, going on a vacation. Think of times when you accomplished something really great and remember back to how it felt and wonder what it would be like to experinece that again. Then go and do some of those things.
- Go to a Christian concert with friends or go on a retreat
- Go to a friend's house and play a board game
- Watch something awesome on TV.
- Rent a DVD.
- Go workout.
- Join Toastmasters or the Rotary Club or Full Gospel Businessmen's.
- Get a gym membership. Exercise is a great anti-depressant.
- Take an art class and do a painting or a sculpture.
- Go on a photography hunt for awesome pictures.
- Go to Jamba Juice and drink something absolutely delicious and healthy.
- Go on bike rides.
- Take kids in your family to the zoo or to a museum.
- Go to a neighborhood recreation center and play ping-pong.
- Sign up for a volleyball or baseball league even if you are a klutz.
I was a captain of the worst volleyball team in the city years ago, and we all had just as much fun if not more fun than the masters of volleyball, though they had a lot of fun, too.
Are you are in trouble emotionally and on the edge of suicide?
If you are near the point of suicide, one thing that will let you know you need to get help right away is if your thoughts turn to different ways of committing suicide. At that point, do not waste time. Get help right away.
Call the national suicide hotline below and get help. Even if you need to check yourself into a hospital for a day or two to stay alive, do it. Suicide cuts off your options. You cannot change your mind later and take it back. All the blessings you could receive living a full life will be cut off, and your opportunity to bless your loved ones and be a good example for them will be forever gone.
One thing that kept me from going over the edge was not knowing what would be on the other side if I ended my life in an act of sin, but I did not expect it to be nothing or heaven. It might very well be hell, and that might be infinitely worse than anything I might experience on earth. I did not want that.
Keep yourself healthy, and think on good things. Spend time with friends. Have fun. And when you need help, get help. Don't try to weather the storm alone.
Here's the national suicide hotline
1 (800) 273-8255
God bless you and take care.