What is NoDivorces?
NoDivorces began in 2001 when my first marriage fell apart. I came home from work to an empty house and soaked my pillow with tears praying and fasting for God to save our marriage. I negotiated with God. I tempted God. I cried out, "If there be an honorable God, a sincere God, a real God, a loving God, an able God, a decent and honeest God, then our marriage will definitely be saved." I told the devil if he was going to get our marriage, he would have to pay with thousands or millions of marriages being saved in return. I confronted God and asked Him whether He had more power to save our family or whether the devil had more power to destroy it.
As I went to work, I found I could not concentrate. I did not feel I could provide my company with the same level of performance as before, so I started to resign. My CEO and good friend urged me to reconsider and take a leave of absense to get things in order with my family and then return, and I did. But my family was still going toward divorce, and I decided to resign to give myself fully to saving my marriage.
At this time, I developed NoDivorces.com, both the website and Yahoo Group and became active in various chats and online bulletin boards. I became friends with many others who had been abandoned by their spouses. One ex-family court mediator was part of our group, and she authored a book called Stolen Vows which shared how the family court systems profit by destroying marriages and operating with cruel injustice. So, initially, a large part of the activity of NoDivorces involved ranting over injustices and discussing what to do about it. A few lawyers and a judge or two were also involved as well and provided much insight. People of various denominations were involved, and many were Catholic. Because of some differences that arose, many of us felt it would be better to divide into separate groups so each group would have more unity and not be burdened trying to deal with differences in beliefs.
What About Marriage and Relationship Skills?
For the next several years, I studied every book, audio, and video on marriage, affairs, and divorce I could find. I ranted and comiserated with others who were suffering the same fate. We argued over what would and would not save marriages, and we argued whether the Bible allowed us to remarry when our divorce was not our fault. Some of these people had been waiting for over 30 years and seemed to have a vested interest in waiting for their spouses to return, even if they had long since remarried.
In 2005, I met Eileen, and whatever people think of this, it seemed God moved heaven and earth to bring us together. Our marriage is stronger and healthier than my first marriage ever was. We are still two imperfect people interacting in imperfect ways and going through trials and tribulations as everybody does, but we don't engage in the kind of hurtful behavior that my first wife and I did.
Even so, I did not want to set a bad example leading others to believe it is OK to divorce and remarry.
- I remained faithful to my first wife and waited for her long after she began her relationship with another man.
- I had Biblical grounds for divorce.
- I refused to get into a new relationship until I knew it was God's will.
One thing I needed to confirm that further was I would have to be confident that if my ex wanted to return, I would be prepared to say it is too late. I was always careful never to get into a relationship with a woman if there was any likelihood I would break her heart later.
Eileen and I were married in December 8, 2007 and our son, David, was born on August 29, 2012. I promptly neglected this website and all others while I enjoyed being with my family, working, and taking weekend vacations or taking care of my parents.
Picking up the computer again
Now that I am unemployed, I want to take this time to make this website as excellent and helpful as i can make it with the grace of God and the love and help of others. I hope and pray it will bless you whatever your situation in life is.
I hope and pray this goes viral and helps many people.
God bless you and best wishes!!!
Dan and Eileen Dick