If I had to make a list of things to do to win back my unfaithful spouse and save my marriage, what would be on this list? I'll share my list here. There are several books available for helping to bring back a wayward spouse, and I have tried to present one each day in the E-Book of the Day to the right. It's hard to decide what approach is best. And, just as it takes a long time to get into marital problems, it may take awhile to get out of them. Also, is not always about us and our problems. Sometimes it is our spouse. But, nobody succeeds by focusing on landing the blame. And, yet we should not be quick to assume that. In fact the danger of doing that is that we may drive our spouse away with blame while overlooking the things we need to see and do to help bring about reconciliation or free our spouses' hearts to return to us. I say "We", but sadly, my first marriage ended back in 2001, and part of my motive in building this web site is to help others not have to go through what our family suffered. One approach is develop marriage relationship skills Most books on family and marriage focus on these, and there is nothing wrong with that. It's a good thing to seek these skills diligently and put them to good use. Another approach is prayer The book of James tells us the fervent effectual prayers of a righteous man availeth much. Summary of Marriage Saving Plan From what I have seen, the best approach I think would be this:

• First and most important, surrender your situation to God. Accept the situation for what it is. Don't live in denial. Accept that you are not in control and that things will take place outside your control.
• Acknowledge your spouse's ability to choose between right and wrong. Don't panic. Don't try to control your spouse. Don't bully. Don't nag, belittle, call names or use words like "always" and "never".
• Pray and be honest with God about your feelings. It's OK to cry or feel hurt.
• Pray for wisdom.
• Get counseling from your pastor or if you're a woman, from your pastor's wife or a wise, godly, and faithful woman in your church.
• Get marriage skills counseling from Divorce Busting or a counselor who specializes and has a successful track record of saving marriages
• Learn everything you can about prevailing, effectual prayer, and put it to good use.

Some of the e-books on this web site in the right column can be extremely helpful in learning relationship skills, and whether or not your marriage can be saved, these skills can go far to helping you improve all the relationships in your life. Even if your marriage isn't saved, at least you can feel satisfied knowing your marriage did not fail because you failed to do your best. And you will come away with great relationship skills.